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[15 Jun 2007|08:58pm] |
"He found out recently how alive things were. He watched them breathe and talk to each other and he knew, finally, that they were there. He observed these things and took mental pictures and pretended to have conversations with them regardless of the language barrier. All of these things made him think about the unanswered questions in the world and the answers that could possibly be applied to them. There were so many thoughts. He had not talked to anyone for days and felt his voice dying. He hated the feeling of not having enough saliva. He soon became obsessed with these thoughts. He saw too many pictures and heard too many sounds. Finally, everything became overwhelming and he imploded. He awoke with a note scribbled on the wall: "Last night, you screamed for someone to organize your mind. So you erased your thoughts. You have been rewarded a clean slate. Feel free to explore." He stayed motionless for quite a while. He started to cry at the thought of not knowing of things he used to speculate. He wished his mind was cluttered again."
There's nothing to talk about anymore besides what my band's doing, what I'm recording for my solo project, and what I'm writing.
So.
1. The band's doing awesome. We're almost ready to play a show.
2. I've got 4 songs complete. A few more and the CD will be done.
3. I'm working on a new screenplay right now that I am very excited about. So far, I've fallen in love with my next door neighbor that I've never even seen and I have a fear of being abandoned by a girl who wants to find herself.
I figure I'll just do that every update for now on, possibly include some other details and things I've been writing, and then I'll do this.
I'll be doing that every Friday for now on. =D.
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[28 May 2007|03:32am] |
I missed my favorite band, Cursive. I'll never get to see them and discuss the unbearable lightness of being with Tim Kasher. Give me a new language, goddamn it. Nothing is new. Nothing is up. Vocal practice, mild success, still needs work, on the way. I'm going to ask you to hang out tomorrow. You'll probably be busy but I am letting you know now that I am going to ask you tomorrow.
I had a terrible dream last night. There is no need to go into it but I couldn't get out of it. It wasn't exactly threatening. I'm not too sure what it was, really.
The meaning of life is to preoccupy ourselves with things to keep us from thinking about the meaning of life. Once, I got too close. Then they ended that endeavor with a shot to my left eye. There was a bird. There was just a bird.
The new Circa Survive CD is pretty good but I feel like it's lacking variety.
I saw her recently. I thought she was cute. She had a boyfriend. She was annoying. She wasn't quite there, where? I don't know, fuck it, I don't like the situation, it's sketchy.
Next.
Who's next?
I'll see you soon, I hope (I don't kid myself, I was just kidding).
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[28 Apr 2007|12:31am] |
Laurel did this and it was fun so figure out the goddamn movies.
1. Satire. Media. Famous line.
2. Divorce. Masturbation scene. Awesome beard.
3. Reflection. Nudity. Death of wife.
4. Mental Institution. Group therapy. Cigarettes.
5. Pudding. Harmonium. Hawaii.
6. Social commentary. Loss of job. Gym bag.
7. Dystopia. Pregnancy. Marijuana.
8. Bank robbery. Gay interest. Stockholm Syndrome.
9. Switchblade. Water rights. Title spoken by character.
10. Semi autobiographical. Flowers. Alligator attack.
Do it.
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[11 Apr 2007|08:51pm] |
I wish there was a girl I could take to the movies or something.
The band's doing awesome, we should be ready by late May or so.
I really want to start filming. I've been working out the shooting script every day and it's a lot of hard work but if all our ideas work out it will be worth it. We showed Rayner his vulgar monologue and he loved it so that's a good sign.
Got an advanced screening ticket to Fracture for Wednesday so that's rad. Hopefully I can get some more.
I want to go all Michael Douglas in Falling Down some time soon.
I guess that's all, peace.
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[16 Mar 2007|02:34am] |
While I was sleeping, everyone changed! Sheep! Sheep! You're all goddamn sheep and who's the shepherd? None other than your precarious leader! You have left the house you grew up in so temporarily, so quickly. Soon, or perhaps later, you'll all realize that life is real and choices are real and the only path you'll ever be able to see is that road you took home once or that road you took home twice. Luis Buñel made films to show that this is not the best of all possible worlds. Our fate is not predetermined. We have the ability to change and think and think about changing.
Sheep.
Soon to be slaughtered.
___________________________________________
LAST MOVIES SEEN:
The Prestige - 9/10: Despite the somewhat convoluted time jumps, the movie was flawless.
I Stand Alone - 9/10: Those shotgun blast segues were quite startling!
Flags of our Fathers - 7.5 or 8/10: Not as bad as some reviewers said but not in the same league as Letters.
Caché - 5/10: Go fuck yourself.
Hard Eight - 7/10: First time effort from Paul Thomas Anderson and obvious; Phillip Baker Hall's a badass.
Waking Life - 8/10: Wonderful but at times too much to take in.
The Corporation - 10/10: Informative documentary on the history and current state of America's corporations
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[25 Feb 2007|11:44pm] |
We wrote some more new stuff. I'll post the full version of our song on MySpace soon but for now, we have the sample of it there - www.myspace.com/setfiretofailure
Peace.
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[23 Feb 2007|10:18pm] |
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I retract my 7.5 rating for The Number 23. It now deserves a 6 at most, more like 5.5 though. I realize, in hindsight, that the movie pretty much sucked. The script was contrived and went nowhere. There were too many uneven plot twists that left the audience remaining vague and un-informed. Joel Shumacher has turned out some okay stuff throughout his career but it feels like he was trying a bit too hard with this one. Ferney Phillips should develop his screenwriting skills before trying to greenlight his next movie. Dang. Luckily Breach was still fucking sweet.
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[20 Feb 2007|09:55am] |
So I watched Breach on Monday with Jesse. A great spy movie and based on actual events. It was almost a perfect mix of factual information about the real case and fabricated dramatic effect so that we, the audience, can connect with the characters. Ryan Philippe played a pretty straight-laced guy and he was good at it but the winning role in the movie was my mothafucka Chris Cooper, as the sexual deviant Russian informant. At the end of the movie, you don't know whether to like him or hate him or feel sorry for him or glad. 8/10
Later that night I watched a special premiere of The Number 23 with Jim Carrey and Virginia Madsen. I was really excited for this but felt a little let down after it was over. Not to say it wasn't fucking awesome but there was some cliche dialogue and acting here and there as well as some unexplained plot twists. None the less, Carrey was good in his first thriller. The audience laughed at a few parts that weren't meant to be funny and so I'm thinking press might just rip the movie apart. Either way, I thought it was pretty sweet save for a few things. 7.5/10
Anywayyyy, I have too many projects due coming up. Research paper for English on the 26th, History documentary on March 8th, and 3 student directed scenes on March 5th. The band's doing well, we're writing really good songs but we still need a drummer. I guess that's all. Peace.
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| New developments. |
[30 Jan 2007|08:26pm] |
I haven't updated in a while soooo:
I wrote this little short story in math today, I'll type it later.
In other news, we're actually almost done with our script and a friend is going to hook us up with decent equipment for the movie. Should be good.
And I'm passing math, surprisingly.
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[21 Dec 2006|12:00am] |
I am pathetic. And this has been made clear to me in the worst possible way.
Hey, hopefully I pass my math midterm tomorrow. I need to bring up that grade next quarter so I can talk to Roddy about college. I got to take the SAT and get my extra courses done too. I have a lot of stuff to do. I need my band to work shit out too.
I'm going to die of stress but at least I'll get some good reading done.
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[13 Dec 2006|01:15am] |
___________________________
Dear Nip/Tuck, and everyone involved with the show:
Please stop being a show. I finally watched you after hearing so much about it from the people around me and it is now clear to me that you suck. Strong acting does not mean yelling your lines and knocking over a desk or something every other minute. The writers involved with the show should learn how to move a story along without making things too obvious. Nip/Tuck is not the worst show I've ever seen (I've seen Everybody Hates Chris, that's definitely worse) but the thing that bothers me the most is this show tries to be cool. If you try to be cool, you come off lame. That's all.
___________________________
Other than that, I started writing a book. I'm kind of combining styles from all the books I like along with the way I write personally. It's probably gonna' be told from different views, like As I Lay Dying. I hope I finish it. I hope it's good. I hope I finish it mostly.
Kingdom Hearts 2 is fucking sick. So is Final Fantasy 3. If I can get the Final Fantasy 12 strategy guide, then I can start that game too. I also got the urge to replay Final Fantasy 10 today. Maybe I'll do that eventually.
A Clockwork Orange has become one of my favorite movies. I can't wait to read the book.
Tomorroy is band practice. I hope it goes pretty well.
See ya.
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[04 Dec 2006|10:33pm] |
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Digable Planets - Escapism |
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Attention all of you with that unbreakable will, whomever this may concern: how do you except me to believe that bullshit? I don't know what it is but I seem to have serious problems with God and faith and religion, and no, Jesse Lacey and Brand New do not put MY thoughts into perspective. To quickly interject, The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me is a good CD, I agree, but I refuse to overrate it as many people I know have. Please don't take this as being condescending, because the purpose of this stream of conciousness wasn't to ramble about a band's CD, although the stream is meant just for that: rambling. I don't know what I'm getting at here. I just don't understand how people can possible believe "Everything's alright cause God's got my back" because there has to be a line drawn in the sand where faith ends and reasoning begins. Anyone that's very religious, if you'd like to have a conversation with me, I'm open to talk. Unfortunately, most people I've talked to about religion, excluding JP who I have awesome talks with, are quite set in their ways and don't really see eye to eye with me. Live and let live confuses me. I guess I'm just one of the people that question everything. I've also realized that I'll never fix my relationship problem. I think it's inevitable, how I will test people, unknowingly, my fingers do the talking and my mind does the math. And it never adds up. This entry got really long and I guarantee no one has really read it. I was daydreaming recently and I thought about my friends, or just people I know. What if I had overdosed on pills and liqour and I only had 2 hours to live. In those 2 hours, would you be able to convince me to call an ambulance? I'm not suicidal at all, it's just a thought that popped into my head. Today in lunch, as I listened to the retarded jokes and conversations going on around me, I wondered if there were new people out there. I want to meet you. Please, state your name.
Tomorrow is my birthday and I wish I wasn't getting older. I hate the future as much as it is uncertain. That's like a holocaust of hate.
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[15 Nov 2006|07:39pm] |
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The Most Serene Republic - Proposition 61 |
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So it seems there's some drama on livejournal. LOLZ WITH WHO?!?!11 Well, a lot of people. I think it's pretty retarded, all of it. But, let me be honest, it is pretty fucking entertaining to sit here and laugh. If you are not entertained by the drama (of course, assuming you're not a part of it) then you, and I mean this, are a liar. Sometimes I wish I lived in Laguna Beach. Then at least the drama can be televised for all to watch. Speaking of Laguna Beach, Ana and me are officialy Laguna Beach Conversationalists. This is not to be confused with other LBC's, such as Long Beach, California or Little Butt Crack.
Anyway, it seems my problems with relationships are simply because I am a retard. I force feelings and then when I realize they aren't reciprocated, I fuck things up. By reciprocation, I don't mean that I like someone but they don't like me back. I just mean that I try to force that whole "I like you" thing early and then I realize "What the fuck am I doing? I don't see this girl as anything more than a friend." And it's not the girls problem, it's really all my fault. Maybe I just have high standards? But that can't be true since I'm constantly putting myself down, being that I AM dumb, ugly, and a loser =D. It's probably just cause' I know what I want and I want what I know.
I really would love a Nintendo DS. I think my mom will get me that for my birthday. My grandfather said he wants me to have a laptop and if that's his wish, I sure as hell don't mind it. My goddamn birthday is December 5th.
I hope Set Fire to Failure is still going on tour. It kinda depends on Antonio's financial situation so I hope he gets a job or at least falls into some money some how. I need tour. Bad.
Jesse, Antoine, JP, and I are writing a pretty sweet movie. I don't want to say what it's completely about yet cause' we're still writing the timeline, and then we have to do the script. We do need a lot of people for it though, including some leads. We'll be auditioning within the next 2 months so if you're interested, please look forward to it. Also, if you have serious film equipment or know of anyone that does, point me in the right direction.
I'm sorry I don't talk. I'm sorry for not listening. I'm sorry for a lot of things but to be honest, sometims I just don't give a fuck.
I haven't written a long entry in a while. I suppose I should update more often for Chrissake. See you.
P.S. - Stop quoting Borat. You sound stupid. So shut the fuck up. Watch Rushmore =D.
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[10 Oct 2006|10:52pm] |
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I wish I could sleep for a couple years. I wonder where my dad is. I want to go to his grave soon. It's been a year. Geez, it's been a year and I still haven't gone. He'd be ashamed of me.
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[03 Oct 2006|02:27am] |
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The weekend was pretty fun. Hung out with Antonio, Jesse, Davys, Kiko, Taylor, Ariella, and Caroline for the most part. Good stuff. Happy birthday Taylor. I have no idea where I am. I know where I want to be and I refuse to force it but I also feel like I'll never be there again. Aghhhhhhaaghghghahfghhghadre. Fuck me.
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[13 Sep 2006|01:00am] |
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Plain White T's - Hey There Delilah |
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It's getting harder to live day by day when the future is the only thing on my mind. I'm super stressed/idon'tknow and I've lost all interest in getting a good night's sleep. I guess I've grown so accustomed to actually having a bad sleep routine that it's become my norm. Time is passing very quickly it seems. November is going to be here before we know it and we haven't gotten a chance to start writing our EP yet (in case you don't know, we're going to be in Georgia during Thanksgiving break recording). Then, it's the Winter Tour. That's what I go to sleep thinking about every night. The future freaks me out. Every five minutes, I kind of ask myself "what the fuck am I doing? why don't I just apply to a million colleges and actually try and get a stable job?" The answer is ... I don't want a fucking stable 9-5 job man. I want to tour FULL TIME and when I come home, I'll work here and there. I refuse to become a robot. I'd rather kill myself.
It seems the only place I can find solace is in sleep. At least there, nothing can bother me. I'd love to hibernate untill WInter.
So, my audition for The Diary of Anne Frank (this year's play) went really well. I'll know if I have callbacks tomorrow. Even though drama is not my priority, music is, I still love acting. I've been doing it since 4th grade .. Jeez. You'd think I'd go for a drama college, right? I could probably even bag a scholarship or two. But I'd rather not. Beacuse, if I went to a college for drama, that would destroy the next 4-x amount of years of my life. And there'd be no music.
I guess I'm off to sleep. I'll do my homework in the morning.
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[15 Aug 2006|05:09am] |
I keep having these fucking weird dreams. I don't know if I can consider them nightmares. There's no imminent threat .. there's nothing visible to be afraid of. I go to sleep every night with rad thoughts, about the band and tour and recording and all that good stuff and I wake up having to throw up. But I can't. And then I can't go back to sleep, which sucks because I go to bed at 12, 1 and I wake up at 2:30. So if I'm not "all there" at school or whatever, I have good reason. I don't fuckin' get these dreams though. There's parts where I see pictures, like still frames, from my life, shattering. And then I can feel getting shot in the head? I don't see it. But I can feel it. And it's like ... a sharp pain, and everytihng just stops. Like gears in your brain are coming to a hault. None of it really makes sense. And then I have complete deja vu all the time. Things I've seen in the subconcious state, I see again in the day time. And love. I keep having these thoughts. Maybe you didn't love me? And maybe a good amount of my life was a lie? And although it wasn't a huge amount, but compared to the years I spent as a kid unknowing of what I wanted in life and how to get there, you were there for the year I learned what I needed. You know who you are. And I'm sure you did love me, but I can't get it out of my head that you didn't. And my dad. I see my dad a lot. And we're always doing something awesome. Something that I probably hated when he was alive. Like a football game, I hated that shit. But we're there and it's great, the pictures are bright, and it's fun. And then it's gone. And then the picture shatters. And I'm at his grave with Antonio. Why Antonio? I don't know why, maybe because he promised to come to his grave with me when he gets back from Brazil. And there's weird people at my dad's grave. People that didn't know him or love him but are giving fake eulogies and I tell them all to get the fuck out of there, go home. And then I feel like I have to throw up just as I'm about to tell Antonio what's wrong. And I wake up having to throw up. But I don't know what's wrong. But sometimes I have these good thoughts. Like I'm in a forrest, and it's really beautiful. Or I'm in a car driving with really nice trees around all over. But the car's going backwards. And I don't know what that means either.
Sorry, it seems like I've written a lot. It's 5:22. I'd be waking up right now. I doubt I'll be waking up today though.
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[11 Jul 2006|03:49am] |
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Our first tour was a great experience. There were plenty of times where we were pissed at each other but we realized how important give and take is and everything works out. Tour is very boring for most of the time. Killing time is a big part of the day. Playing the show is the best part, especially shows like July 7th when we played The Corner in Panama City Beach (thanks for making it sweet). The feeling of selling merch is amazing. Making friends is great. Hanging out with kids is awesome. And, being close with the band your with is super important. It is hard to imagine what is going on while you are away. Death is always creeping as I've learned in Atlanta, GA when I found out my mom was in car accident (she's okay, for the most part). Getting home to your bed is great but waking up the next day and wishing you were still on tour is terrible. All in all, it was the best 10 days of my life. I want to do it for the rest of my life, in fact. The winter should be amazing, when we go with The Paper Tragedy. Take care.
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[06 Jun 2006|05:37pm] |
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So last night's show was pretty rad. Minus the fact that Antonio pegged me in the eye with his guitar in our last breakdown, I thought it went pretty well. We just need to practice tomorrow and get tight for Burden of a Day on Friday. I hope we sell our tickets so we can play Tuesday with Across Five Aprils still. If you want one, please tell me. Hmm so tour is getting so close and I'm worried and excited and everything. Anyway, I wrote this song that hopefully we can learn before we leave for tour and use it as a closer cause' it has the type of "epic" feel. Here's the lyrics:
I walk these streets alone
In search of a new ending
To a life I've never known
But I couldn't have said it better
(To the sky, I shall look to the sky)
Your grace will fall
Your grace will fall
Where would I be without your love (between the wasteland and the sky)
And your forgiving tounge (I'll hold my breath)
Where would I be without your love (between the wasteland and the sky)
And your forgiving tounge (I'll hold my breath)
Keep it up, keep it up, keep it up, keep it up (oh yeah)
This is where we stop and remenisce on old times (oh God)
If I should somehow let you slip,
And fall on to the floor,
Though it looks so far from here,
I saw we test it out for more
And if I let you go,
I'd ask to be heard out,
I'd give my final words,
And together we would shout:
"Let's stop the rising tide from
Swallowing us whole!"
Where would I be without your love (between the wasteland and the sky)
And your forgiving tounge (I'll hold my breath)
Where would I be without your love (between the wasteland and the sky)
And your forgiving tounge (I'll hold my breath)
Time will end us all
(Between the wasteland and the sky) (repeat many times)
And if love does prevail
What's our reason to fail
We tried our hardest to be brave
But it did nothing for us (nothing!)
Scars and bruises
From things we've been through
Raise those hands to the sky
And ask for forgiveness
And then you meet with the sky
At a table for two
And talk politics and sports
And all kinds of things
You'll wait patiently of course
Don't ask for too much
You're a beggar not a chooser,
Am I right? (am I right?!) Am I right about one thing?!
Then the meeting is done
And your time isn't up
You've got things left to do, kid
Let's get moving, come on!
But as for me
I've got my own set of problems
And I'll try and try
And try to resolve them
I have so much to waste
And just enough to risk
I'll keep moving and moving
And settling this
Slowly.
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[21 May 2006|12:06pm] |
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The Fully Down - Love It All |
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So, yesterday I saw The Fully Down and Versus the Mirror. Completely rad. And, Mason opened, which made it even better. They're all really nice guys. Shows like that make me want to tour so bad. So does watching the Armor For Sleep: Comprehensive Guide to Touring DVD. Agh. But I'm worried cause' it's so close and we're still so un-prepared. Anyway, we have a show tonight, should be fun. I want to start writing again. Our practices seem to fall apart at certain points though. OH, I got this rad audio cable that connects from my I Pod to my CD player so now I don't need CD's anymore. W00t. Plus, I got my license. I guess I should update more often so I don't have to do this retarded ass re-cap. Peace everyone.
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